Firstly, if you’ve been reading my blog, thank you! Secondly, you will remember I mentioned last month that during my Pluto midlife transit, I gave up and walked away from everything and almost everyone I knew.
Last month, I talked about everything that left my life. A lot of people also left my life, not everyone, but promised to talk about that this month.
When life went pear-shaped, little did I know it was just a phase. A phase that would pass and the sun would shine again. Do you know how they say every cloud has a silver lining? Well, it’s true. Life isn’t all roses, there are thorns as well. Life isn’t always dark. There is light as well. If we didn’t have this balance, then the Universe would be out of kilter. The Universe abhors a vacuum and imbalance.
So while I was going through this crappy time, on the back of my Pluto midlife transit, my Neptune square Neptune transit started and I felt like I was drowning. You see during this transit, I gave birth (twice) and I suddenly felt like I didn’t know myself at all. Who was I? Where did I go? I questioned everything. I questioned who I was, what was I doing and where was I going. I was in the epicenter of the midlife transit, or what is colloquially called the midlife crisis point.
Did I search for myself? No, I just stood still. I cared for my babies and did nothing. I left it up to Neptune to reveal to me who I was. Just when I thought I had lost myself forever, I found myself again. I was still there but in a new and improved version of me with another cap to wear in life. The cap of motherhood. I was also putting together an astrologer cap too and I finally gained the courage to come out of the astrology closet by studying the subject. I just knew that apart from wanting to learn more about the subject, the answers to what I was experiencing would be revealed to me in my studies. I enrolled in a course and when I learned of this transit, I felt relieved. You know how when you are sick or know there is something wrong with you, you feel better when diagnosed because it validates what is going on?
Finally, everything made sense. Astrology helped me understand what was going on with me. However, it isn’t just me. Everyone has and everyone will go through it. It depends on where this transit is taking place in your chart and how the other planets are involved in your natal chart which makes it unique to you.
For me, the Neptune transit fell across the 8th and 11th houses. The 8th house has to do with your power, power through others, the taboo and things not talked about. The 11th house has to do with the collective, groups, and communities and is the house of wishes. So what did this mean for me? It meant that I discovered things that I didn’t know about. Things were revealed to me about myself and others. Specifically my friendship circles.
I learned major lessons about friendship. Who I was as a friend and who others were as friends to me. It helped that I had my Aquarian hubby with me during this journey. Aquarius holds friends in great esteem and they also read people very well. Aquarius also traditionally rules the 11th house (where my transiting Neptune was at the time) so I had my teacher and guide with me all along during this transit. To be honest I didn't believe the advice he offered until I saw it with my own eyes.
By the time the transit was over, I had lost many friends. Some of them had left my life because they didn’t like what I was now doing. Others because I wasn’t doing what bonded us in the past or hadn’t done so in a while. The truth was I couldn’t do what bonded us for financial and life reasons. Yet their absence and silence are still a tad hurtful to this day. It just makes me even more grateful for those that stuck around, accepting me for my weirdness and uniqueness.
The hole from the absence of those friends, hurt for a bit but the healing occurred when I let everything and everyone go with love. You see everyone in our life teaches us something and we teach them something. When those lessons are finished, we exit each other's lives. When I realised this, I thought perhaps this was also the reason. Their absence left a void for the Universe to fill with exciting new people to enter my friendship zone and the Universe certainly delivered. I found more people and kindred spirits that make up my tribe and for that, I am truly grateful.
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